I'm not sure I'll have time, this year, to improve my performance at both the Triathlon and the Wii.
My experience since Christmas certainly isn't promising: last week, increasingly wild and agitated while being thrashed by silent five year old at tennis, I felt like one those old, stooped, furious but impotent Silverbacks in an earnest BBC nature programme, being outsmarted by a younger, lither rival, clearly after his harem.
I smashed, I passed and I lobbed and Mrs Botogol, watching from the sofa, had to tell me to calm down and for Goodness Sake Mind That Lightshade! Eventually, though, through persistence and guile, my luck turned, and a wild, reaching cross-court baseline stroke caught my miniature opponent a glancing blow on the side of the head with a nunchuck and the game had to be abandoned. Out of the corner of my eye as we mopped the blood, I could swear that the baldy little left-handed Mii that I have built actually winked.
But forget tennis - my favourite game on the Wii is Coarse Fishing. Its brilliant, and very realistic. This is how it works: you stand motionless in your living room, grasping your controller firmly in both hands waiting for a bite.
About every hour (on easy) or two days (difficult) the little float moves - a bite! - and you sharply hoik your nunchuck upwards and back and ... well, that's it! Its just like real fishing.
Anyway, as you can imagine, it's quite a favourite with Mrs Botogol and I. Of course with two you need quite a big room to play - the second player has to stand at the next stake, quite a distance along the bank. However it has one considerable advantage over the tennis: with some practice you can prop up your controller on a book and can go and make a cup of tea and a sandwich. There's not many Wii games you can say that about.
The Triathlon? May 5th. I promise not to blog about it again.