My son and I leave for the South Coast on Friday for the annual Rugby Club Tour. This is a character-building exercise for small boys who learn buffalo rules and that there's no point arguing with the Judge.
The worst thing about the tour is the fancy dress. This year our theme is Space. All apart from our age group, that is, who are unilaterally Pirates (this is in the interest of bonding) I told the coach I was going as a Space Pirate and he was extremely unamused; I fear I may be a pint in the hole already.
And the worst thing about the fancy dress is that children don't have to wear the costume. It's actually the adults who will dressing in Vulcan ears and fake beards carrying bags of illegally copied DVDs. The children will be in jeans and heelies.
My objective is to avoid a coma, more likely induced by alcohol than heely, it's true.
My son's objective is to be appointed a snitch.
I hate fancy dress.