Career Prospects

Last week, to the ill-disguised dismay of my boss, I stood up in the middle of a meeting and left work early - 6pm - in order to go to a careers evening. I thought it would be interesting and unusual opportunity to find out what other people really do all day, and how to get the best jobs.

There were over 40 speakers at the event covering every class of profession imaginable from Animal Behaviourist to Zoologist. Participants could select four talks to attend. Readers, I have seen the future, and it's in the web 2.0 media. My choices were Professional Poker Player, Reality TV Contestant, Captcha Decoder and Shill Bidder.

Arriving late, I found my name down for the less than exciting quartet of Solicitor, Investment Banker, Barrister and Advertising Executive.

Very traditional, very Job 1.0, I wasn't really on the edge of my seat. But still, one of those four is not a million miles from what I already do all day, so I reckoned that at least I might get some tips on what it's all about

So, what did I find out? Well, I did discover what it is that they all do - that they all do: it's Powerpoint. But don't leap to the conclusion that all these professions are similar: Oh no - Powerpoint styles can differ. So here is

botogol's guide to Powerpoint in the Professions

1. Investment Bankers do it with closely stacked tables in 10-point Arial, crammed with jargon and information. Cannily they bring their .ppt on a memory stick and borrow the equipment they find. They summarise the executive summary.
   
2. Solicitors do it cramped in a small corner unable to find or understand the full-screen option. They have handouts with spaces to make notes. They give powerpoint slowly and cautiously. They never allow a slide to transition ahead of a mouse click.
   
3. Advertising Execs do it on vast titanium Powerbooks, with steel speakers and bright OHPs with calf-leather carrying cases. They do it with sound effects and video.

(Barristers don't do powerpoint. They do photocopies.)

The professionals were there to explain their jobs and to offer useful advice to supplicants, and in their differing approaches to this task also they couldn't help displaying their innermost souls.

• The Barrister advocated his job. Extolling its virtues he was lyrical, persuasive and eloquent. He had been asked to attend the evening 25 minutes before it started.
• The Advertising Executive pitched his job. He wanted us to believe, he desired us to apply. He knew he had the best job in world and wished us to share his conviction.
• The Investment Banker bigged up his job. He knew it was important and he didn't really care whether we did or not
  
• The Solicitor dissed the Barrister. Whatever career we chose, he said, don't be a Barrister. Above all, he said, don't be a Barrister. Useless good-for-nothing Barristers. Had we been to see the one this evening? Wasn't he dreadful?

Did I mention that I was at the evening with my daughter? To tell the truth the event wasmore ained at her really. She had arrived earlier than me and consequently chose - and got into - a wise selection of realistic and dependable 21st Century professions: Diversity Co-ordinator, Eco-Lifestyle Advisor, Reality TV Presenter and Virtual Estate Agent. She tells me they all did great Powerpoint.

If I had my time again at least I now know what I'd be: Barristers Clerk.

Quote for the day

The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and all time.
- George Bernard Shaw <http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/38640.html>

Peacetime - Eddi Reader

I have to confess a little disappointment when I got my hands on a copy of Eddi's 9th album Peacetime (released 29th Jan): Only a fool doesn't judge a album by its cover and, call me old-fashioned if you like, but doesn't a new album deserve some new artwork? Instead, Peacetime's cover photo is a retread of the cover of St Clare's Night Out .

Did Rough Trade run out of money? Doesn't Eddi know even one person with a digital camera and a copy of photoshop? :-)


Its been nearly four long years since Eddi recorded the Songs of Robert Burns, and six since she recorded an album of original songs - the ineffable, incomparable Simple Soul.

A confession: for every single one of those four long years I've listened to Simple Soul, Angels & Electricity and Eddi Reader more than I've listened to Robbie Burns, And for all that time I have hung on to the hope that Eddi's venture into traditional folk would prove a detour, and that her next album would resume the forward march of her partnership with Boo.

It doesn't, quite, but still - a new Eddi album is not to be sneezed at, and I was as excited as small child on Christmas Day last week when I slipped the disc into the player and myself into something more comfortable and settled down, eschewing the sleeve notes, to wallow in 14 whole, brand new helpings of Eddi's wonderful, rich crystal clear voice.

It's very folksy: 7 of the 14 songs are listed as 'traditional', no fewer than three of them are more Burns, and many of the rest have a traditional folksy feel to them - The Afton for instance sounds positively 19th century, and it's a surprise to look it up and find out it's new.


It's probably too obvious to say: but the best of the trad-folk songs are the ones that are kept simple - Baron's Heir + Sadenia's Air is a fine beginning, with Eddi's voice soaring over a simple guitar in the opening sections, and her Scottish accent coming through delightfully clear, two songs later it would take hard heart not to smile at Mary and The Soldier, and Leezie Lindsay is catchy enough. But it has to be said there are also some duds: Aye Waulkin-O, and Ye Banks and Braes of Bonnie Doon seem to me simply bland, and even Eddi the alchemist cannot turn that lead entirely into gold.

Shepherd's Song stands out. It's an odd one and it has had some positive fan attention. It's certainly unusual with it's brass-band opening section, as soon as I heard it, it seemed familiar, reminding me of something. No, not Bailero from Songs of the Auvergne by Canteloube: but Pink Floyd's Outside the Wall.

Am I giving the impression I don't like the album? That wouldn't be fair. I couldn't dislike anything by Eddi and, besides, WMP tells me I've played it 13 times already so it can't be that bad. It isn't - and there's an important redeeming feature: three diamonds in the coal, the three unmistakable songs by Boo Hewerdine.

Instantly recognisable these songs - to me - carry the album. The first one we hear is track two Muddy Water, a 'brief encounter' says Eddi in the sleevenotes, a brief illicit encounter say I: 'Did not do what I should / I nearly lost it good / but the CCTV camera never caught us' Boo's sparse lyrics perfectly capture a time, a place an emotion. Listening in the bath last week, knowing only that there were three Boo songs there somewhere it wasn't hard to pick them out when they came: Muddy Water, Safe as Houses and the eponymous Peacetime with their references to CCTV, to the London bombings breathe some current relevant meaning into an otherwise hard-to-fathom collection.


We've had Eddi Reader sings the songs of Robbie Burns. That was good, but I'm not sure this new album carries Eddi forward as it should. What would be wrong with Eddi Reader sings the Songs of Boo Hewerdine? Until that happy event Boo fans may find pleasure Rosalie Deighton's upcoming album which will feature five songs co-written with Boo (that's two more than Eddi's)

Oh dear, I feel I have been a bit rotten to Eddi. But rest assured she's still one of my all-time favourites, and I'm still going to Shepherd's Bush to see her next month. And I'm still hoping to hear Soul, Lucky Penny, Wolves, Simple Soul, Footsteps Fall and Sugar on the Pill.


Links
- review of Boo Hewerdine gig in November

Jadegate

I wish I had a pound for everyone I have heard saying 'I haven't watched Big Brother, but... here's my firmly held opinion about Jade Goody.

Gordon Brown put himself in that camp when he appealed to the country to 'vote for Shilpa' (A vote for Shilpa of course meant a vote to throw her out. He was blissfully unaware)

But 50,000 complaints is impressive by any standards - but I'd love to know what the complainers actually thought Channel4 should have been done. Three possibilities spring to mind:

They should have

1) expelled Jade from the house in order to punish her / rescue Shilpa

2) gone into the house and told Jade to behave

3) edited out all the offending footage and pretend it didn't happen


None of these options is very attractive and its no wonder C4 dithered.

But I have a disappointing feeling that most people probably had in mind (3). Certainly I think that's what most broadcasters woud have done - and it would have been appropriately Orwellian I suppose.. Still a cheer and a half to C4 for not taking that option at least. (Subtracting ten cheers if turns out that they in any way at all egged Jade on)

Here is the only piece I have read about Jadegate that that takes an original line and made me reconsider my stance:

http://eureferendum2.blogspot.com/2007/01/this-is-state-were-in.html

[I wish I had read it before the heated conversation we had at a dinner party on Saturday)

On-Line women

When email first arrived it had the unlikely effect of plunging married women 150 years back to Victorian times.

Having waited until the 1970s for poor young Annabelle Jones to be freed from the possessive shackles of being known as Mrs Frederick Bloggs, just twenty short years later poor old Annabelle Bloggs-Jones suddenly found herself right back where she started: widely and humiliating referred to as fred.bloggs@hiswork.com FAO-Annabelle

By the end of the 90s, with Fred totally fed up with please-tell-Annabelle-it's-now-Wednesday, email finally arrived in the home and Annabelle Bloggs (well, it's easier for the children if we all have the same name, isn't it) finally achieved her own e-independence. Well, sort of: familybloggs12@aol.com

How things change.

In the brave new world of the 21st century the boot is on the other foot: fred@bigcorp.com is now almost incommunicado. He has had to tell his mates not to email him that stuff at work any more - compliance get a copy of everything, now - and IT Security blocked access to fredthestud@hotmail.com nearly three years ago.

Meanwhile angryannie@gmail.com receives 10,000 hits and 14 comments every day at www.myrottenlife.blogspot.com

Is it a genre?

Anyway, here's four blogs that I've been thoroughly enjoying reading: all by women with their own email address and everything, all witty, all a mixture of domestic, the external.....and the surreal.

In no special order here they are, writing on domestic topics...

Arse End of Ireland by Swearing Lady

It's said that all women eventually turn into their mothers. You know how it is: one day you've got your nose pierced and you're painting her wallpaper black, the next you're choosing high-waisted jeans and gardening and tutting.

D-Flat Chime Bar by Surly Girl

I’ve been studiously avoiding my mother since Christmas. This makes me both very happy (no mother! Woo!) and slightly guilty (Fifi Sis gets all the gubbins. Boo). However, mother has now thrown a large spanner in the works by instigating (potentially) her own financial downfall, and wanting to discuss it in detail with everyone.
A bit of background for anyone who’s still reading despite this being another post about my mother:

Wife in the North by Wifey

At least I didn't fall for the obvious trap laid by the nurse who shot the baby up, after I had been chatting to her about how violent boys can be.
"All you can do is say to them, 'I don't hit you, so don't you hit your brother'."
Nope. Wasn't falling for that one.

Petite Anglaise

I am sitting in bed, watching episodes of Desperate Housewives back to back and feeling sorry for myself. Despite the Christmas tree sparkling winsomely in the corner of the room, I have never felt less festive, or more hungover. That’s what happens when you go to a party for grown up singles on Christmas day, instead of more traditional activities such as watching the Top of the Pops Christmas special in the front room of your parents house, or sulking when your mother refuses to put any alcohol in her Christmas pudding.

Enjoy :-)

(A tree really did fall on our car on Thursday)

Addition- there's a discussion about women blogging on 18DoughtyStreet on Monday 22nd 9pm featuring Rachel from North London

Aloha from Hawaii

People ask me whether everything I write in this blog is actually true.
Well, of of course it all is.

Last night Mrs B and I flew off to to Honolulu for one of those last-minute short weekend city-breaks. booking last minute it cost only £299pp, plus £11.95 carbon offset (voluntary! hooray!). Back Monday. Hope the kids are OK on their own.

Yesterday, in the high winds that swept the UK, a tree fell on our car.

At work I am moving offices. Perhaps you don't think that is a big deal? Well, I have been occupying my office, located in my company's equivalent of Siberia for five long years; and now we have been recalled back the Headquarters. The Main Building. The Big Place. The Metropolis. We move next month.

Meanwhile, KaLeoAloha to all my readers.

[Doesn't that sound grand. To both my readers?, to my few readers? To my blogging sister]

Blogroll

Writing a blog like with no theme has a number of drawbacks, and none more so than what to put in the blogroll.

For a blogroll is a more than just a collection of links: it's promise to the reader:

If you like my blog, it says, then I think you might also like these blogs: These other, er, also themeless, random blogs that really have no connection at all with mine.

And that's why, dear reader I've never had a blogroll. Where's the join? Which in turn is probably why I don't get many incoming links either. So to hell with the promise, I've got one now :-)

Anyway, everyone else is doing it and how else I am ever going to get tagged with one of those cool blog-meme-thingies. [I ever do get one I'm going to straight off to tag David Cameron- I bet he'd do it, as well]

So here goes with botogol's promise: If you like my blog then you'll probably like these other blogs which all have the same name (clever, eh?)

• colorful green ideas - Everyone has had "Colorless Green Ideas" since Chomsky talked about them. I think the world is ready for some color
• Colorless Green Ideas - My tongue's the only muscle on my body that works harder than my heart.
• Colourless Green Ideas Sleep Furiously - Newly formed bland ideas are inexpressible in an infuriating way
• Colourless Green Ideas Sleep Furiously - By a Francophilic, Anglophilic, nostalgic Nintendo-loving New England linguist
• colourless green ideas - Life is about getting things, so what happen's when you get it all?

I'm on a roll now (a blogroll! ha ha!). Link whoring I think they call it, but I have no shame. So here's a roll of blogs I'm reading which, frankly, have not the slightest connection with mine, but which I like, so perhaps you will

I've put them in three sections (on the sidebar where they belong)

• Personal - i.e. essentially themeless or narrative blogs
• Work - my favourite genre
• Ideas - you'll have to click and look, won't you